Mother’s Day comes with a range of emotions when your family is intact, but facing Mother’s Day when your family has been restructured due to divorce can be especially difficult. We often hear about how hard Mother’s Day can be for people who are struggling with infertility or people who are grieving their mother, but it is important to recognize those who are grieving their intact family as well. As a therapist who works with women navigating divorce, I know that Mother’s Day can bring up many mixed emotions for the women in my practice.

Recently I wrote an article about the way in which celebrity divorce announcements ignore the painful reality of grief and anguish that so often accompany divorce. Why don’t we talk—really talk—about divorce? was published on Cognoscenti/WBUR on April 6th and remained the #1 most frequently read article on that site for 8 days. In one week, over 50,000 people read it. I guess people really do want to talk about divorce!

No matter what the circumstances are, ending a marriage is always painful. While it may ultimately be the healthiest decision, it is never easy or simple. If you are contemplating divorce, chances are your marriage is in trouble and you are feeling the fallout. You are likely feeling worried about yourself, your kids, your future, and your spouse. If you are the one initiating the divorce, you may feel tremendous guilt and shame about your decision.

The holidays are upon us, and there is a lot of hustling and bustling around. If this is your first holiday since your separation or divorce, you are likely feeling a lot right now. You might be sad, anxious, or overwhelmed by facing Christmas without your ex. You may be feeling lonely or regretful. Or, you may be feeling relief that your house has less conflict and tension. Try to lean into the relief.

If you have gone through a divorce recently, you may be worried that you will never find love again. Being in a painful marriage which ends in divorce can often leave women feeling unloved, or worse, unlovable. Here are some practical tips for how to feel lovable again.